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Five Things I Want to do Before I Die
- I so want to appear in a true, bonafide feature film. Now, I’m not looking to take on Meryl Streep or anything, the tiniest appearance will do. Like in Seinfeld when Kramer had the line “These pretzels are making me thirsty”. Or who can forget Rob Reiner’s mom Estelle and her infamous “I’ll have what she’s having.” in When Harry Met Sally. I’m serious, one line is all it would take. I hesitate to add that I would love it to be a film with Channing Tatum, because that would likely have me thrown off the set before my scene.
- I’d love to do the narration for an audio book. Heck, it doesn’t even have to be one of mine, although that is probably going to be my only chance at even having a shot at it. Cleary I was bitten by the acting bug when I was a child.
- I’d give almost anything to make a good pot of spaghetti sauce. About once a decade, I give it the good ole college try and every time have failed miserably. It’s either burnt or watery or too chunky or straight-up gross. Even my family has trouble faking the support of the endeavor. But it is 2016, so it’s almost time to give it another go. If anyone has a fool proof recipe they would like to share…I’m the fool for you!
- I want a cool grandma name. My oldest son is getting married this year and my youngest just turned 24. Becoming a grandparent is bound to happen eventually (no pressure, kids). And if it never happens, that’s okay too. But if and when it does, I want a super cool name…like Mitzi or Gramzilla. The best would be Gaga, so that every time they called me, I could break out into “Poker Face.”
- I want to go to Europe. Mainly London and Rome. I should probably start with getting a passport. You read that right. I don’t have a passport. (Hangs head in passport lacking shame.)
Five Things I Hope Never to do Before I Die
- I never want to fight off a Grizzly Bear, Mountain Lion or any other animal that is bigger, has a taste for blood and can out run me. I would box a Kangaroo, knowing full well going in that it will win.
- I hope I never have to fight off a Great White Shark. This is basically the sea version of the Grizzly and all the same rules apply. If I never got stung by a jellyfish, that would be awesome as well.
- I never want to change a flat tire. I’ve gone this long without doing it and now it just looks like a real pain in the ass.
- I could totally do without having to spend even a single night in jail. For obvious reasons.
- I hope I never stomp, trample or otherwise crush another person’s dreams while in pursuit of my own.